tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674492032895592382024-02-19T22:44:59.718-08:00Mando Musings - Ministry with Chinese characteristicsBen Direnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12163327664675296603noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967449203289559238.post-49694366639828169702012-10-05T07:21:00.000-07:002012-10-05T07:21:28.029-07:00Answering questions - avoiding shame & giving faceA striking aspect of Chinese culture for non-Chinese people is the high
regard with which a Chinese person holds their own culture, history, nation and
people. To cast dispersion on any of these aspects as a non-Chinese person, is
to, potentially at least, cause great offense. This is true even when a Chinese
person themselves openly criticizes an aspect of their own culture. The Chinese
person is usually doing this as an expression of modesty and humility -
characteristics that have been of great importance in traditional Chinese
culture (note: this is changing). However for a non-Chinese person to criticize
any aspect of Chinese culture, or to even agree with the criticism a Chinese
person has just given, is to shame and humiliate the Chinese people in general.
As Chinese people tend to think corporately, any criticism of their culture,
history, nation, etc., is a criticism of both themselves personally and more
importantly, of all Chinese people everywhere. This causes them great shame and
since it is a culture that by-and-large seeks to gain honour and avoid shame,
great harm to the relationship can be caused. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
So if a Chinese person asks you a question that you think may involve you
giving a potentially offensive answer, what can you do? <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Firstly here is an example of what not to do:<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Chinese person - What do you think of our city so far?<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Western person - I have quite enjoyed it.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Chinese person - It's very polluted unfortunately, don't you think?<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Western person - Well yes it is quite polluted.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
(Silence)<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<br />
Here is a better way to answer:<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Chinese person - What do you think of our city so far?<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Western person - I have quite enjoyed it.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Chinese person - It's very polluted unfortunately, don't you think?<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Western person - But I love the food so much - it's so hot and spicy.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Chinese person - Yes I really like the food too!<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
A western person may think this is to be slightly deceptive answer as it
isn't really answering the question, but from a Chinese perspective this is
perfectly acceptable. Chinese people themselves tend to avoid giving direct
answers especially when it may cause someone shame or embarrassment. If a
non-Chinese person answers this way a Chinese person will hear you implicitly
agreeing with what they have just said and yet will greatly appreciate the way
you have avoided shaming them and have rather sought to give them and therefore
their people 'face,' i.e. honour them. This answer also helps the non-Chinese
person to avoid the dilemma of either lying or saying nothing at all. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Please note: As your relationship (guanxi) deepens you can be more forward
but this takes time and the Chinese person must know you value and esteem the
Chinese people first. <o:p></o:p><br />
Ben Direnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12163327664675296603noreply@blogger.com0